We Wouldn’t Drive These Classic Cars If You Paid Us

We all love to admire a beautiful, well-natured classic car. The driving experience, however, was either to die for or to wish to die. Cars like the Porsche 959, Jaguar E-Type, and Mercedes-Benz SL300 Gullwing are not only mesmerizing to look at but they’re pure bliss when it comes to the driving experience.
Not all classics age like fine wine woefully, some of them were never a joy to drive or look at in the first place. Here is a list of classic cars with dreadful driving experiences. We would never drive these fossils, no matter how much you’d try and bribe us with.

10 Peel Trident


Peel Trident
via silodrome.com

This bubble car is the successor of the infamous Peel P50. Having a very futuristic design for the 1960s, the Trident was undeniably a quirky-looking 3-wheeled vehicle. Weighing literally less than a sumo wrestler at 330 lbs, the microcar was powered by a 49 cc motor. That meant a 0-60 time of…never.


Once the motorcycle engine has reached its top speed, the speedometer will read 28 mph. Underwhelming, dangerous, expensive, and only enough seating for 1 and a bit adults. We’d skip out on this one.

9 Ford Pinto


Ford Pinto in orange
Via: Mecum

The Ford Pinto is much like a proximity mine. Not in the sense that it resembles the shape or color, no. It would explode just as easily. The fuel tank was horribly placed in co-ordinance with the rear bumper. In events of a crash – even at slow speeds—the Pinto’s fuel tank would alight and burn non-stop.


Ford Pinto on fire in the middle of the street
via The Times

Fortunately, only 27 deaths were ever identified, but that is 27 too much. Ford cut some corners in the development course of the Pinto, and therefore, we will stay far away from these touch-sensitive bombs.
Related: Here’s Why The Ford Pinto Is So Infamous 50 Years Later

8 AMC Gremlin


Via Pinterest

The Gremlin has many elements that make one wonder “why did they do that?” For instance, use the name of a mythical creature that tampers and wrecks mechanical equipment. Although the styling screams ’70s, we can’t help to wonder if they had 2 different design teams for the front and the rear of the car.


1972 AMC Gremlin X, green with black stripe, side, quarter, Mecum
Mecum

But on top of all that, the driving experience was heinous. Handling like a fresh sock on a wooden floor, and accelerating like one as well. The Gremlin looked like a shoe and disappointingly drove like one too.

7 The Yugo


Front 3/4 view of a white Yugo
Via Wikimedia Commons

The Yugo retailed for a sticker price just below $4,000, and as they say, “you get what you paid for.” The Yugo was based on a 20-year old Fiat design back in the ’80s. Before being claimed to be “the worst car ever,” the Yugo broke sales records with more than 1,000 cars being sold a day.


1985-1992 Yugo GV: You Go?  Nope, More Like You Stop
via HowStuffWorks

Soon the hype died out when people realized how unsafe, unreliable, slow, and revolting the communist-made car really was. Toyota even started giving their customers a free Yugo when buying a new Toyota…but everyone resisted ownership. You know a car is bad when no one wants it for free.
Related: Here’s Why the Yugo Is One of the Worst Cars Ever Made

6 Pontiac Aztek


Pontiac Aztek parked outside
Via wikipedia.org

Revolting, grotesque, and just simply nausea-inducing. These are words to describe the appearance of the Aztek. Some might say it was ahead of its time with the sloping roofline on the SUV, but its ugliness is uncanny. Wobbling like a rocking chair around the corners, weighing the same as a mammoth, and having numerous factory recalls, this just is not a good car in any way, shape, or form.


Via Pinterest

Despite all of that, it has one hidden talent: camping! Some came from the factory with a tent and blow-up mattress. You could then go into the woods to shield others’ eyes from your hideous Pontiac.
Related: 10 Ugliest Cars To Ever Reach The Streets

5 Trabant


Trabant beige
Via: YouTube

As the saying goes: Reduce, reuse, recycle. It’s a given fact that recycling makes Mother Nature overjoyed…but this is just pure insanity. The Trabant is made out of recycled cotton waste called duroplast (the material some luggage is made of).


Trabant beige Doug DeMuro
Via: YouTube

The communist-built obscenity featured a 2-stroke, 2-cylinder lawn mower engine producing 26 hp and unable to reach 60 mph. From the poor build quality, naked interior, and brainless shifter, we struggle to find anything appealing about this deathtrap.


Ford Mustang II Brown
Via: Bring A Trailer

The Mustang II is the ugly duckling of the Mustang family. Of course, it’s born in the harsh ’70s, when the US oil crisis hit auto manufacturers from out of nowhere, but we cannot deny the disappointment the Mustang II was. Not even having a V8 engine or producing more than 100 hp from launch, it was the worst stallion ever.


Ford Mustang II White
Via: Pinterest

Whilst sharing similar unsightly styling with the explosive Ford Pinto, the Mustang II still sold surprisingly well. There is only one reason to not hate the unsporty sports car—it kept the Mustang name alive when it was going to death.

3 Reliant Robin


Relint Robin Red
Via: YouTube

Remember when backseats never came equipped with seatbelts back in the day? The unlucky kid sitting in the middle would flop around like crazy when going around a corner of any kind. If that kid was a car, it would be the Reliant Robin. The Robin is a teeny 3 wheeled car that was produced for more than 30 years.


Relint Robin Yellow
Via: Pinterest

Due to its amputated front wheel, the Reliant was notorious for one poor design flaw—tipping over. Driven by Mr. Bean’s arch-nemesis, the Reliant Robin is a danger to those around it and those inside it as well.
Related: A Detailed Look At The Reliant Robin And If It’s Safe To Drive

2 Maserati Biturbo


Maserati_Biturbo_exterior
Via: Maserati

Maserati has gained respect amongst petrolheads because of their sultry styling, pulverizing performance, and extravagant driving experience. And the Biturbo was none of these. They scrapped the usual iconic beauty and the Italian coupe looked as if it was designed by a kindergartener.


Maserati BiTurbo - Rear Quarter
Via Mecum Auctions

The only thing it almost had going for it was the 2.0-liter V6, but it only produced subpar 200 hp. One Maserati trait it truly exceeded was reliability. This meant it exploded, leaked, squirted, cracked, and rusted in any way possible

1 King Midget


King Midget White

The King Midget looks like a DIY car built by a dad in his garage because it essentially was. The Midget was sold as a huge lego set you had to assemble yourself. A wooden frame, single-speed transmission lacking reverse gear, and a single-seat situated in the center of the tub. The most expensive model cost under $1,000. Cheap and upgradeable, so what’s to hate?


King-Midget
via pinterest

It not only looks like a canoe, but the 12 hp lawnmower motor drives like one too. We would recommend rather taking a cardboard box and sticking it on wheels before paying and building a wooden shopping cart to grant you a sluggish death wish.


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